More from Starbucks

Two letters from Starbucks this morning:

Dear Seldom Welcome,
All of my coffee order have several special conditions. Also, I apparently know the lady who works at Starbucks. Is it ok for me talk to her for several minutes after I've placed my order, even though there are people in line behind me? Also, I am kind of cute. Does that make a difference? - Girl with a Weird Hat

Dear Girl,
It's good that you have noticed and probably made very insightful commentary on society's double-standards regarding beauty and customer service. However, I would advise you that there really isn't an acknowledged double-standard regarding how long people ought to stand in line being talky. There is one standard. I call it the Get Ought of Line Once You Get Your Change standard. Feel free to apply it liberally. - SW

Seldom Welcome,
I would like all of my neighbors to think that I am a super-dedicated athlete. Thereby, I go to get coffee wearing iPod earbuds and running tights. - Really a Runner

RR,
No one disbelieves that you are an athlete. Until they see you in your tights at Starbucks, that is. Also, stop using words like "thereby." It just makes you look like a poseur. Well, more of a poseur. - SW

Not funny

Dear Ladies at the Front of the Line at Starbucks,

No matter how much or how loudly you laugh at yourselves, it turns out that it is not funny for you to pretend that you can't decide what you want to order. It is also not funny to pretend you forgot your wallets. I know, I was surprised too.

Here's an extra tidbit too. The guy who works there is laughing along because he is hoping for a tip. Also it is all he can do to keep himself from throwing the cash register at you.